How to Get your Sex Drive Back after having a Baby

I found this article and I believe its really helpful for new mothers and women in general. I hope this is useful to someone out there :)

                                          

The Article


So, you have had a baby. For many women, this means that the sheer thought of sex or intimacy gives them the creeps. Even if you had an active and pleasurable sex life before pregnancy and childbirth, many things change afterwards. Your hormones are wacky (to say the least), your body has changed, you may be breastfeeding, and chances are you are also very, very tired much of the time. Not to mention the fact that many women become a mother and suddenly feel awkward dressing up in their French Maid costume to spice up things in the bedroom. The transition to motherhood definitely can take a toll on your sex drive and sex life. Unfortunately, many men don’t understand this – but there are things you can do to rev up your sex drive again.

First, give yourself a little time. If you are recovering from childbirth, you may not be up for sex just yet. Talk to your doctor and make sure to wait the recommended length of time. Secondly, realize that many men change their views on sexuality once they actually see a baby born, and this is normal. Try to talk about the experience together. A few jokes here and there can definitely lighten the mood and erase some of the graphics.
Realize that if you are breastfeeding, hormonal changes naturally reduce your sex drive. You may find that once you stop breastfeeding and regain normal menstrual cycles, your sex drive will return to normal.

What many people fail to realize is that resentment and anger can be huge factors in reduced sex drive. If you are taking care of the baby most of the time, staying home on maternity leave (or became a stay at home mom), and you feel that your partner is not stepping up to the plate so to speak- you are going to feel resentful. This resentment will spill into the relationship and not make you feel like having sex at all. Instead of brewing, realize that having children changes the deepest dynamics of your relationship and that the two of you must start over to analyze and reevaluate expectations and roles. If you need help, are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, or think you are losing yourself in becoming a mother – ASK FOR HELP! Your husband may not know you feel this way. So many moms become immersed in the baby 100% of the time that dad feels left out of the loop and may not know how to help. Then you are resentful and exhausted – both of which do nothing to get you in the mood for sex.

Another sex drive killer is if you have suddenly become super mom. It is normal for fathers to become resentful because suddenly their wife has no interest in anything that doesn’t involve the baby – including him! This lack of interest in your partner can cause a bit of jealousy (although they won’t admit it). Remember, just as you need to be reminded that you are loved and special, your spouse does too. Also, just because your body has changed doesn’t mean that your husband doesn’t find you attractive. Most men admit that a few extra pounds or curves do not hinder their desire to make love to their partners. You are probably worried about it more than he is! After what you just went through to have a baby, you deserve a medal of bravery – so be proud of your body, and allow yourself to enjoy it.

If time has gone by and you still don’t feel like you are ever in the mood for sex, you may have to try forcing the issue. By this, I mean wearing a little sexy lingerie, setting the mood at home, and finding a baby sitter for the night. Send sexy text messages to one another or suggestive emails throughout the day. In other words, take the bull by the horns, lose your inhibitions, and remember how great it feels to be sexy. A little teasing each other can go a long way. Once you get over the hump of a sexual slump, things may just get better than they ever were before. Remember to leave your insecurities, resentments, and thoughts of being a mother at the bedroom door, and learn to have fun again. After all…you deserve it.

Author: Stef Daniel

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